Then there are times I get lost in the World. I feel broken; even though broken crayons still do the coloring.…but can a ballerina with a broken leg still practice ballet effortlessly? I behave like a living zombie and the only thing I do is survive. I need a magician to help me disappear to a place where I can regain my sanity. You know those moments when one plus one does not make two, yet you sure are a math genius.
I am normally not an emotional human being, as I mentioned in a past post, DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND….; I exchanged my tear ducts for cash. The last time I shed a tear (it was actually a drop; I find emotions so gross, if they were applications, I sure would uninstall them), I digress, was when I heard that my little cousin’s leg was to be amputated and I immediately stopped crying on hearing that he was okay with the Doctor’s decision. That little boy still remains as one of my biggest heroes<3
Anyway, I wrote down the above italicized part at 4:30 am. (yes, I was up at such a time J) I guess it’s at such times that I experience full and rare emotional spectrum but in sleep’s defense, it might be because of the sudden loss of something I am attached to, that is, sleep.
Enough of this, so, the italicized part was meant to be a caption for my photo, then I thought of blogging about it. Trust me, blogging calms my nerves.
This is when I remembered I got someone who brought me to this World that I am lost in. Not my mum this time; because at this point in my life, no human being can solve my incomplete puzzle. One who can demystify the mystery I’m entwined in. He only, can help me pull myself together.
Sadly, my relationship with my God has been like two magnets faced in opposite polarities. (repulsive) Scary? Yeah I know. The good thing about this Supreme Being, is that he is genuinely: forgiving, kind, loving…the list is endless. I am not much of a religious being, but I once was, being raised by a staunch Catholic woman who would probably dedicate me to sisterhood if she finds out that I am no longer her little religious girl.
We all experience life’s ups and downs and most of the time when we are down, we tend to throw ourselves a pity party in a bid to make ourselves feel better. Unfortunately, you are only worsening the situation. I never thought I would reach such a point in life; perhaps these are the problems that come about with growing up. Growing up was a trap!
The only solution to this: talk to your God! Trust me, this is a sinner talking. I pray once in a while, got to church once or twice a month, read the bible only when prompted… I am not proud to say this by the way. But I can assure you that He is the real deal. There is so much inner peace and relief that accompanies a conversation done with God. So, to all those going through hard times: cheer up, smile and converse with your God.
“We all have bad days, but one thing is true; no cloud is so dark that the sun can’t shine through.”~Miranda Kerr.
From one of my high school memories, when we wrote love letters to our then lovers we would make sure that we dedicate them a cheesy song to let them know that you were thinking about them and that the love bonds were still strong. (haha, I still cannot believe I did this) I am using the pronoun we since the letter was written by a ‘gang’; prolly half of the class. On that note, you all should listen to Jesus take the wheel by Carrie Underwood.
Photo credits: Wills photography